Friends don't let friends vote republican
Love this!
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad
guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex or die from STDs.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle out long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extra-marital affair is an impeachable
offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
See you all at the polls tomorrow!!!!
posted by Phaedra @ 11:13 AM
5 Comments:
Amen.
Oh wait... that sounded like some christian fundamentalist right-winger kind of stuff ....
you know what I mean.
No John, we can re-claim "Amen" for the heathens!!! Amen brother!
I bet on the right horse (er, woman....) for AG.
I was worried that Peg would NEVER be able to win with that arrest she had. Even cancer can't trump the drunk driving if you're AG.
I always get so excited for elections! I think people are really ready for a change and some good things are on the horizon (that translates to, I think some of my candidates will win!).
I can't decide if this is funny or depressing. Maybe both. The seeming need of some humans to believe/enforce irrational and bizarre "ideals" is something that never ceases to scare the crap out of me. Especially when they do it with the power of the Pentagon.
Hey here's another one. "Civil rights are bad for national security."
I'm going back to bed.
We printed this out and took it to the local Democrat committe meeting the other night. Much laughter and some requests for it in an email.
Thanks for putting it up there. Can I steal it for my blog?
Later,
Sam
Sam,
It was sent to me in an e-mail, PLEASE pass it along!!!!
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