I was so "Careful" that I got sloppy!

I was making some copies of my resume at WORK yesterday because I was both applying for a new job there and interviewing for a different job over lunch. I was so careful that no one saw what I was doing, or the finished work product. I cleared the copier before I went quietly back to my desk and back about my business.

A few minutes later the boss of my boss' boss (three guys above me) walks into my cube and HANDS ME MY RESUME. He says, "Here, you left this original on the copier, whatever it is. I thought you might like to have it back."

Shit!

I collected my thoughts for about 5 seconds and chased after him explaining myself with "Look, this is kind of awkward, and I'm embarrassed about this situation, but I'm applying for a promotion, another job in your department."

He replied with "Oh good. Glad to hear it, I didn't really look at your papers back there."

Dude, it was a big freakin' resume with my name and address

centered in BOLD

on the top of the page. He had to know what it was, or he's an idiot.

Now here's the new worry.... will he mention this to my boss or keep it all hush-hush? I simply don't need my boss to know that I'm looking elsewhere unless I actually SECURE a new job. Then he can know....

The interview later in the day went quite well. But they will be doing second rounds where the top 5 compete for one sole job. Here's hoping!

Trump's Apprentice

Televisionwithoutpity.com is the BEST site ever for anything relating to TV.

This week's Apprentice was good, but the summary recap of last week's nearly brought me to tears. Luckily, I saved it for you! Brilliant, this writer is like a friend I've never met:

The deathwatch into tomorrow from last episode's four-person firing is mostly memorable because of Adam's stunned, extreme glee at having stayed up "until midnight!" Next morning, Kelly Perdew shows up for no reason whatsoever and then the "decimated" Excel gets Randal back, making him PM in a desperate bid for existence. He and his new happy, destined-for-success group (Brian, Marshawn and Rebecca) create a stunningly uninteresting but very informative and well-crafted seminar on "Making Your Mark," and Rebecca and Brian continue to be Kristi-esque about everything, worrying quietly about their chances at success. As the winning team, their reward is to go shopping for Michael Kors clothes, and Rebecca tries on hideous space pants.

Capital Edge, on the other hand, now consists of Alla, Felisha, Clay, Adam, and Markus. Yeah. Adam is PM, and immediately gets stuck between the "Sex Sells" team of Clay, Felisha, and Alla on one hand, and the "I Am Crazy" team of Markus on the other. When he's not blushing and feeling funny about the ways his body is changing as he grows up, he's taking Markus out into the hall for hushed and pointless conferences about how Markus is pointless and cannot speak or do anything useful. "Sex Sells" takes over -- Alla controlling Felisha and Adam masterfully -- and creates a somewhat vague "Sex At Work" seminar which is either about: the trouble sex can create, ways to respond to sex happening near you, or maybe how to do it. Whatever they're talking about, Adam is utterly uncomfortable, and Markus is talking about something, anything, everything else.

The presentations themselves are similarly one-sided: Excel is boring to talk about because Marshawn (the public speaking consultant) speaks publicly quite well, Randal (the most likeable person in the northern hemisphere) is quite likeable, Rebecca is fierce and intense, and Brian is great and tiny. They do a fantastic job, because they are the wheat of Team Excel and Trump has already sent the chaff flying. Capital Edge, on the other hand, is…well, this is where things get both awesome and incredibly horrific.

Clay tells totally professional and wicked appropriate stories to a hundred strangers about co-workers he's wanted to fuck, asses he's admired, and how he likes to be spanked, and then misspeaks to the tune of calling Adam a "tight Jewish boy." The ten minutes of stunned silence that follow provide a unique environment in which to ponder this, the first of several whacked-out, crazy scenes tonight. Adam does not take it well, additionally mishearing it to the tune of being called a "tight-ass Jew." Which is a little different, and explains much of what follows, but in terms of the task was just the off-putting icing on a big old man-kiss of a gay wedding cake. During the presentation, Markus plays with a yo-yo, because he knows naught of either "Sex" or "Work."

After Capital Edge loses by a large margin, Alla pulls the puppet strings on first Clay's perceived anti-Semitism, then his terrifying gay sexuality, where he is a gay and has gay sex with other gay men. Unable to think quickly enough to deal with any of this, Clay is sure he's a goner until the final Boardroom with Adam and Markus, onto whom Carolyn finally is. She points out how he's lazy and does nothing but whine, which provides him the perfect opportunity to say "I told you so" at the end of the task -- not that he really got the chance, because Markus's team hardly ever lost, in spite of him -- and that she basically hates him. Carolyn and George get down on their knees and beg Markus to make sense when he talks (Trump: "You talk in riddles!"), but he cannot, and finally Trump fires him just to shut him the hell up. Which he cannot do, and continues babbling crazily long after the taxi has already disappeared from our view.

You'd think that Markus getting fired would be the best part. It isn't. The best part is in the Boardroom leading up to Markus's firing, where Donald Trump has some kind of neurological event and goes completely apeshit. And I mean to say that you have never seen this kind of behavior in your life. He first abruptly asks Clay if he's gay, acts stunned that Clay is gay, ascertains that Clay is therefore not attracted to women, clarifies that this Venn diagram excludes even women such as Alla, and then explains to us that this is why restaurants have menus: while Trump likes steak, other people like spaghetti.

Later, without even stopping to breathe almost, he: asks Adam straight up if he's a virgin (he is, but won't admit it), counsels him not to be afraid of sex because it is "not a big deal," posits that Adam will ten years from now be more "comfortable with sex," shares that sex has gotten him into "a lot of trouble" and cost him "a lot of money," discusses at length whether Adam is "soft" or "hard," and wraps up by telling Adam that there's "nothing like" sex, and that he should look forward to having it one day, in the creepiest, ickiest, most pervuncular way imaginable. Best episode of any show this side of Trading Spouses ever, hands down. But where I can see them.

Left side = wrong side, right side = right!

My mom drives on the WRONG side of the road!!!!

"Lighten up"
"Stop Picking on Me"
"Can't we have one morning without yelling?" are the things my mom says to me when I say to her, "Mom, drive on the right side of the road!"

Every time there is a curve in the road (curving to the left) she veers into the left lane. If there is EVER a car, jogger, bicyclist, etc there she WILL hit them!!!!

This morning there was indeed a car as we rounded a curve. I screamed "Mom!" and she swerved INTO them more!!!!! A split second later she swerved back to the right. The other car had to swerve into the bike lane (almost into the curb to avoid her).

It's so DANGEROUS and she will NOT listen to me when I try to tell her that she's a danger to herself and others. What the hell?

I ask her WHY she does it. She refuses to answer. We have this fight almost every other day.

Today she told me that she has to "concentrate" more on staying in her lane. CONCENTRATE?!?!? Shouldn't that be second nature to driving?

I need to quit car-pooling with her before it kills me!

Hazard Pay!

Ouch... I somehow managed to drop a CASE of 24 large cans of Dog food on my knee last night at work. Man.... when I saw it falling I was thinking "not the knee, not the knee!" because it was the knee I had surgery on about 4 years ago.

Not only is it bruised and painful, it's also quite swollen.

All this for $8.50/hr!!!!!!! Man, my day job pays more and is far less dangerous.

Hang On To Your Pregnant Bellies!

No one told me that you had to be pregnant to attend a baby shower.

My cousin's shower was today and there were FOUR preg-os there. Four! I guess they're all married too, one step at a time for me.... someday I can be that pregnant lady if only I continue to dare to dream.

Seriously though, aren't they all so CUTE?!?!?

Bad, Bad Dreams

I had a TERRIBLE dream last night that my friend Amis was going to be sent to Iraq by her company. In real life, she works for a company that probably won't send anyone to Iraq, but it was a dream so anything is possible.

Back to my dream: Her partner was having a going away party for her (like a happy joyous celebratory party). All of the sudden it hit me that she may not be coming back, and I began sobbing. Hysterically bawling about poor Amis getting caught up in a bullshit war and possibly dying.

My sobbing woke me up (I was gasping for air as I awoke). I really cried!

So Amis, no trips for a while, OK? Stay safe and close to home. I need you for a long, long time to come.

End the War NOW!!!!

As seen in my e-mail today:

Sign our "20,000 home over the holidays" petition right now:
http://www.johnkerry.com/action/20000

Please sign the petition. The war is complete horse shit and needs to end.

(Work) Ethical Dilemma

Damn my work ethic!!!!


I'm torn. I really like some of the people I work with at my part-time job. Others are crazy... but who doesn't have to deal with some crazies at work? The dilemma is: this job sucks away most of my free time, and pays very little. It pays more than nothing, that is to say it DOES pay. And I get a discount, which tends to be very handy.

I just don't think I should have to work 6 days a week, 55 hours per week. The goal should be to work LESS, not more. I'm exhausted all the time, and I'm starting to socialize less and less (which will never lead to meeting new people or having a baby, etc...)

A higher paying part-time job would mean fewer hours to work for the same money. I need more flexibility too, for when I have gigs. Gigs are MUCH more fun than any job, and they pay better too. Of course they always seem to happen when I have to work job #2.

And I broke my watch there last night. Which basically means for the hours I worked, I will have earned enough for the watch I broke working. Total catch 22!

But then, there are those fun times that make it seem worth it. Which is how I become torn all over again.