Stage Names

One of my friends (bass player) is in a great band and recording an album. She's also a physician (in her spare time). She sent me an e-mail that her band was called "Wes, Lee & Arden" when she isn't playing, but when she sits in they become "Wes, Lee, Arden and the Doc." I freaking LOVE that! She's "The Doc."

My dad was going to make some harmonica business/networking cards to hand out to people at various jam sessions, open mics, and even at gigs and concerts so that he might find more people to gig with himself. He wanted a stage name for the cards. My thought was "Uncle" because it worked for Uncle Kracker.... and my cousin always calls him that in front of other people (some non-relatives around the city call him Uncle too).

But he's not like other people, he's my dad. He's not entirely normal. He went out today and got ORDAINED off the internet so that he can be the REVEREND. Ah yes, Reverend Dad.

Can I get a hallelujah and an Amen?

Quite the Undertaking

This is an old school photo of the old family business (as always, click on photo for larger image). Nothing goes together like upholstering, undertaking and furniture! I know, I know, I should watch 6 ft. under, I've heard that one before... but I don't have HBO or Showtime, or whatever the hell that's on. OK, I'll Netflix it soon.

So I had to go to the old funeral home yesterday for my aunt's funeral. My family does NOT put the fun in funeral. Actually, pastor Tim is a pretty cool guy. He was so great to me (and my family) during my grandma's funeral 3 years ago. The funeral really drained me, and it's just so sad. Poor Stella's husband kissed her goodbye in her coffin. I couldn't stop crying after that.

My dad and I found some time (almost 2 hours actually) to do a little walking tour, along the river, after the service. He was telling me about all this cool history, his former school (now an administrative building) an old wooden toy company (now luxury warehouse style condos), etc... I don't think I have that kind of historical knowledge of the city I grew up in. Maybe that's because I'm only 31 and not 61. By the time I'm 61 I'll have good stories to tell too.

I need to knock it off before I start crying while singing "Cat's in the Cradle."

I need a new attitude

I admit it, my dating attitude has sucked lately. The last guy I dated for a while (2 months?) ended it in a questionable manner, and I haven't been on a date since. I'm crabby. I try not to outwardly portray the crabbiness, but it's carrying on quite well inside me.

I JUST found out that this guy I dated for a while, well OK, he's a tranny, a drag queen, a guy who looks better than I do when he dresses as a woman, he is MARRIED. Yes, married. We dated about 2.5 years ago, which means in that time period he met someone else (actually multiple someones because last I heard he was dating a guy) and got engaged, and MARRIED.

I don't want to get married just for the sake of having the title, I'm selective you know! Not picky, properly selective.

But how is it that bi-sexual drag queens are marrying off faster than I am?

If I were petty I would also point out (oops! Too late....) that he has since gone bald. And according to his myspace page, not aged since I met him either (he was 27 then, he still claims to be 27 now).

I need to focus, no more distractions, it's time to go find my black funeral clothes for tomorrow.

R.I.P.

Rest in peace Aunt Stella. She was the last of the older generation to pass away in my family (the youngest of the old, born in 1908). That makes my parents the oldest ones on my dad's side now (and I think I just became instantly middle-aged). Funeral tomorrow...

Also, rest in peace my dear sweet Crunchy-boy. You will be missed and your wonderful spirit will shine on. I hope that you catch every squirrel, possum and chipmunk you find in heaven.

Making it Easier to Remember

There are (several really) websites out there to help you remember phone numbers. Or to remember your own, or for you to use when giving out your number. Here's one: http://www.phonespell.org/

You know cell phones have REALLY changed how I remember numbers. Back in the day, I had all my friend's numbers memorized. And I did so by placement of the keys generally. There were one or two times where the number spelled something (U-L-DO was an ex's number, as in You Will Do....) but I knew at least 20 phone numbers at any given time. Not so anymore!

Now, when I need a new number I add it in to my cell phone and never think about it again. I usually call my friends from my cell, and if I am calling someone from my home phone I have to "look it up" on my cell first. Pretty sad for a good memorizer like me.

I need to clean out that cell phone address book of mine. It includes a few numbers here and there of guys I had like 2 dates with. I think those were added by a conversation like this, "Here, you can call me and then we'll both have each other's numbers saved in our phones." No need to hang on to those!

At Last, My Keys are Found

I carry my keys on a carabiner (like rock climbers use to clip to their safety lines). It's convenient, because if I ever need to take one off (loaning my car to a parent, or going out for the night and wish to lighten the key-load) it's beyond easy. Perhaps that is also the problem.

While I was doing my Urinetown show, one night I got home to my parents house (to pick up Aldo) and I noticed that not only was my keychain way the hell too light, but I was missing the key to their house.

I knew that I had my keys when I left work because I locked up my filing cabinet on my way out the door. So somewhere between work and the next 6 hours and 130 miles I lost them.

The keys I lost were my parents' house key, my filing cabinet key for work (official government property!!!) and this awesome antique key (sort of like the photo above) from my family's business. It has our initial carved through it, and is a seriously awesome key. It no longer opens anything (that I'm aware of) but it's decorative and sentimental to me.

I figured that when I was loading the bass in the car, the carabiner must have hooked on the case (or something), opened, released those three keys, and closed again. I still had my car keys, which was why I didn't notice until I got home.

I told everyone in the production to keep their eyes out for my keys, and a week later no one had found them. =( Part of why this whole situation bothered me so much was that it showed weakness on the part of me and my frazzled brain. It is SO unlike me to lose something as important as my keys. I'm way more responsible than that!

Meanwhile, I had gotten locked out my parents' house TWICE since this happened.

On a whim, I called the lost and found office one last time, and behold! They have my keys! And I have another gig there in a week, so I'll pick them up then. Amazing!

They grow up so fast!

For the first time (ever?) last night I left my little guy home alone, and he did really well! I generally take him over to my parents' house for dog-sitting, but I went out to run a quick errand with a friend and decided to try leaving Aldo home alone.

He usually cries, and cries, and cries some more when I leave him. Even in the winter, I would come inside from shoveling and as I approached the house I could hear him whining and crying. I feel terrible when he gets so anxious!

I bought this product that contains "dog appeasing pheromones" the same kind a momma dog gives off to calm her puppies. It's like a calming/relaxing doggie glade plug-in! Anyway, it must be working. (pseudo-product advertising alert!)

I gave Aldo a bone (filled with frozen peanut butter, keeps them busy longer) and set him up in his doggie bed with it. He was so into the bone he didn't come to the front door as I was leaving (AMAZING!!!!!).

When I got home, about an hour and a half later, he was close to the front door (and had relocated his bone with him) but he wasn't too hyper to see me when I walked back in the house and there was NO crying or whining. Thank dog (er, god)!

I am sooooo happy for my little rescued guy to behave more "normally." This is a big step in Aldo's growing up!

And let's hear it for the "Comfort Zone" plug-in!!!!!

Love this!

Here are my friend's dogs. The two on the left are hers, and the one on the right is a dog she has been fostering that her parents are about to adopt.

Check out her awesome lawn and flowers too! I need to get my butt landscaping at my house...

Easter is Pagan

From one of my pagan friends:

"The word Easter comes from an ancient pagan goddess worshiped by Anglo Saxons named Eostre.

According to legend, Eostre once saved a bird whose wings had frozen during the winter by turning the bird into a rabbit.

Because the rabbit had once been a bird, it could still lay eggs, and that rabbit became our Easter Bunny. "

Happy Easter Everyone!!!

Bonne Chance Cherie!

Tonight I went to a going away party for my friend Cherie. She married a wonderful man and moved over a 100 miles away, and has been continuing to commute to her job, until now. She found something closer to home.

Half the party at the wine bar tonight was speaking fluent French. That doesn't happen very often!

I met an amazing woman (the wife of a man I have several mutual friends with and have met on several occasions). She just got a teaching position at Berkeley. She's fluent in several language too. She's brilliant, and beautiful, and dynamic, and sincere. I chatted with her for almost 2 hours. I asked her if she knows any amazing guys for me to date (she's so fabulous, she must know some fabulous men too).

We were talking about her new job, and all the applying and interviewing that I do. She told me that I'm such a string woman I may actually be intimidating some of the people that interview me. It's a strange thought. Much like dating, I can only be myself on those interviews. Am I TOO strong though, like abrasive or domineering? It's hard to say, interviewing is so unlike other situations, I'm TRYING to sell myself, brag a little. If I don't convince them I'm the right person, who will?

And then on my way out the door I recognized a guy from the internet (someone I've never met). Because my "game" is often lacking, I smiled dryly at him and raised my eyebrows as I left. He turned around in his chair to watch me leave and walk all the way to my car. Once I was in my car I couldn't get it together to go back, but I SHOULD have just said, "Hey there. You look super familiar, do we know each other?" DUH!

I used that "do we know each other?" line on another girl in the same wine bar about 2 hours earlier. It turned out that she is a violin player and I DO know her. She was in the youth symphony I used to manage (back in the day....). Ah, small world.

Bon voyage Cherie, et aussi, bonne chance!

Old School German Birth Certificates

In late-nineteenth-century Germany, eggs were used as birth certificates. The newborn's name and birth date were etched into the shell of a dyed egg, and courts honored these "IDs" as proof of age and identity.

Mozart is my Boyfriend

My dead composer boyfriend that is.... I'm pretty pumped to buy this shirt.










http://www.glarkware.com/securestore/c181846p16493119.2.html

Elections on My Mind

I can't shake upcoming elections from the brain for some reason. Perhaps the reason has to do with all the e-mails I get on the issue.

In any case, I love these shirts: http://www.cafepress.com/branddem

A special thanks to dad for providing that link. Go dems! The winds of change are in the air.

Speaking of Storms....

We had CRAZY lightning and hail last night! I just had a new roof put on yesterday (I think I'll have the roof guy back to make sure it's still A-OK). Man, I need to call the insurance company too.

The hail was golf ball to softball sized. There was a report that a police car's windshield was taken out by the hail. When I ran out from the awning into the yard to grab a few to photograph, I got nailed on the hand (which was protecting my head mind you) and there is a welt and bruise there. At least I wasn't knocked out! Can you imagine being outside (walking the dog or something) when that was going on? You'd be pummeled! So tragic...

Picture one, action shot of Hail.
Picture two, welt on my hand from hail and two hail stones.
Picture three, lightning in my back yard right before it hailed.

You can click on the pictures to enlarge them.

Tornado Season

This week, my work-web published some tips for what to do during a severe storm. Apparently, trees may fall over! And you're even WORSE off if they are large trees. This clearly means my front yard is a death trap.

"Severe thunderstorms can produce very damaging straight line winds. Watch for glass, debris, tree limbs, and large outdoor items going airborne. Be aware of large trees on your property that may topple onto your building. "

Thank Goodness for Seatbelts and Airbags

I got a terrifying call tonight from a friend whose entire family had been involved in a car accident.

I was CONVINCED she was going to say that someone died. Luckily, no one died. Thank God. However, she and her dad just got out of the hospital today, but her mom is still admitted.

My poor friend lost one of her kidneys, broke multiple ribs, and her left collar bone. The collar bone thing sucks eggs because she's an amazing violinist, and that's the side one holds a violin on. BUT SHE'S STILL ALIVE!

They were driving in a super safe Subaru wagon on a 2 lane county road. There were 2 cars coming from the opposite direction. One of them rear-ended the other, pushing it over the line where it hit my friend's car head on. I don't completely remember my physics, but I think that 2 cars traveling 55 mph towards each other equals the same force as one car traveling 110 mph running into a brick wall. HOLY SHIT!

I'm soooooooooooo glad that she and her family are going to be OK.

In somewhat related news, I was traveling the same stretch of geography that day, but I was on the interstate.

It just goes to show you how random these things are and how fragile life can be. I am so relieved that no one died.

Name and Bra Size

There was some chaos (what else is new) going down at work, and my boss' boss' boss was running around trying to figure something out. He kept asking all the wrong people around me. I knew it was my friend's program area, and she was out for the afternoon.

After eavesdropping for a few minutes, I got out of my cube and chased him down to share the info that the correct person was out of the office.

He stared DIRECTLY at my breasts (I was wearing a tasteful camisole and a cardigan) for about 10 seconds before replying, "Thanks, Phaedra." We were nowhere near the name plate by my desk which proves he ACTUALLY knows my name (I keep betting people that he doesn't. But he SHOULD).

It turns out my big boss knows me by name AND bra size!

The DemCard

I'm on my state's democratic party mailing list.

They sent out an e-mail today about this AWESOME credit card that you can get, called the "Demcard." Just for signing up, the democratic party of your state gets a $60 donation. Then, a percentage of your purchases get donated to the party too.

Here's the link: http://www.DemCard.com/USA1

I'm getting one (you should too)!

Haiku by Dad

It's really more of a poem. He came up with it today on the way home from the grocery store:

The sky is blue
The horses whinny
The flowers bloom
I drink no beer.


I could work this to be a haiku pretty easily:

The horses whinny
The blue sky makes flowers bloom
I will drink no beer.

I had the day off and we took the dogs on a 1.5 hour walk, and then went to the hardware store and the grocery store. It's nice to spend some quality time with my dad. It's nice to get outside on a beautiful 70 degree day too!

Can't Post Comments on E-bay

Someone has this tablecloth listed on e-bay as being oh so French and Provençal, and yet they name the graphics as bees and blueberries.

Or you know, perhaps they are cicadas (the symbol of Provence) and olives (I hear that olives are big in that region too).

It certainly makes me question the authenticity. Not of the cloth, but of the seller.

Loveline

Remember that show? It used to be Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky and they had a radio gig in California forever, and then they took it to the visual airwaves courtesy of MTV.

Anyway, Adam is no longer a part of the show, but Dr. Drew still does it on the radio with different guest co-hosts every night. The guests are generally pretty useless, and Dr. Drew has changed from when he was teamed with Adam. I guess Adam used to be the tough guy who called bullshit on the people that phoned in who were fakes. Dr. Drew was helpful and nurturing. Without Adam, Dr. Drew has to be more of a badass, he's become almost too cynical.

So they play this on the radio, conveniently, on a station that my car picks up for my full hour drive home after rehearsals every night. I admit it, I've been tuning in regularly.

I thought about calling last night. Scratch that, I DID call three times, but I got a busy signal. Although I had my call dialog all worked out, I kept trying to think of a good fake name to use. I was going to use Taylor (the name of a drag queen friend of mine, and also was close to being my name, but then my mom's friend named her daughter that before I was born) but the co-host's name was Taylor (he was a dude). Regardless, I never quite made it on the air...

Wanna hear what I was going to ask Drew? This is very personal, but also true. These are my fears: I've been out of my last relationship for 3.5 years now. In that time, I have dated TONS of guys. Probably over 100 (most of those were only first dates). I want to get married and have kids, and there is a time limit on that. Is there something wrong with me? Am I the reason that I'm not finding romance, compatibility and commitment from any of these guys I date? Did my last relationship (and the shitty way it ended) mess me up more than I thought? Am I subconsciously PURPOSELY failing at dating and finding a nice new boyfriend? Will it ever happen for me, or am I sabotaging myself (and therefore I'm the reason that it's not happening)?